Tag Archives: legalism

Relationships, A Series: Part Eight — The Means To An End

“All the way up to our wedding, my dad still would not acknowledge that we were engaged. The days after that fatal Saturday were quite fraught with chaotic pressure from pastors, parents, and even some friends to break off our engagement. But somehow, we made it, and continued to say that we wouldn’t break off the engagement because that was something that was strictly between us.”

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Crosspost: Sally’s First Kiss and The Princess and the Kiss

“In the conservative Christian homeschooling community in which I grew up, a person’s first kiss was incredibly important. Even today, the products of this culture debate this question with great energy, arguing about whether forbidding the first kiss until the altar is a form of legalism or the preservation of a precious gift.”

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Relationships, A Series: Part Seven — The Five-Year Relationship Plan

“I want to explain a little bit about why this is so difficult for me to write, but also why I need to write our story. From that first devastating break in Phil’s and my friendship, I began losing a lot of friends, I faced opposition at home and from other parents, people I barely knew, and those who I thought were friends…I was being accused of lust, idolatry, bitterness by my parents, I was called rebellious, disobedient, dishonoring of my parents by others around me.”

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Relationships, A Series: Part Six — The Storm Starts Brewing

“It is really sad to read just how brainwashed I still was during this. A lot of my honest reactions weren’t until later, much, much later after the original incident. I still believed that my dad was going to do right in this relationship, I still believed that fathers were supposed to rule over their children’s relationships, and that it was my job to trust my dad and sit back and be a good girl.”

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Relationships, A Series: Part Five — To My Darling Clementine

“My parents didn’t seem to care, or give any thought to us, and the friends who were all buzzed about the drama to begin with soon gave up and the story was no longer a new and exciting piece of drama in their dull lives. One a small handful of people really stuck with me through the entire journey. This story isn’t just about Phil and I, it is also a sad reminder of all of the friends we lost along the way.”

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Relationships, A Series: Part One — What is Courtship?

“I grew up ‘broken.’ Some normal girlish part of me has never quite worked. I never had any dreams about getting married, nor did I have any idea of what a relationship for me would look like. About 6 years later, I found myself in a relationship, and it was going a heck of a lot differently than any of the ‘courtship’ books said a relationship was supposed to go.”

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